Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
