Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
