its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
