Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
