Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im holly from the hills drunk
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
