She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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