My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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