we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
