my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
