i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were trust falling into bushes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
