Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he wants to bone in the snuggie
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
