No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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