After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
