You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
