That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
