I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
