Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ttyl tear gas
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
