Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
