Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
