She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
