do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
