im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
