did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there was a trapeze. enough said
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
