i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
