i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Couch. On fire.
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