just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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