What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
