who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
