in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
