I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
