Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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