genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
