Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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