I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
