I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
