What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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