I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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