If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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