you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
