Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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