Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
