I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
