what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
