I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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