Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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