After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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