okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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