so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
