I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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