I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
